I don’t know how this scene started, but I’ve got a pretty good idea about how this scene might have ended!

<wakka wakka>

Threads of smokey gas still wind through the house. She moves silently to the door like a cat, barely distracted by the madness around her.

The Senator’s son’s bachelor party was over. His friends, their fathers, fraternity brothers, others - all dead, lying in awkward, unnatural poses as they’d stood, circling her in wild camaraderie, just seconds before. 

The vial had been in the spine of her cd case. She’d pulled off the move handily, cracking the plastic quietly in her hand as she stomped a heel on the hardwood. She’d turned around. Spread her legs soooooo slowly as she breathed in deeply and bent over. 

She’d closed her eyes, drew circles in the air with her tight smooth ass, waited for the sound of coughing. It came. Became choking. Lasted. Stopped. Surveying the room, she turned with a clip and walked towards the front door.

You know who she is - the baddest stripper assassin there ever was.

You can take your “Davinci’s Code” candlewax-and-red-silk eroticism and file it under Amateur Hour.

If you’re not into mentally ill drag queen grandpa styles, grinding up on pig costume hotties in robot welding indie rock hell, then you’re out of touch with current trends in depravity.

Sasha Grey gets it hard from a bear? 

Happy Saturday!

Jon.

Bon.

Jovi.

That is all.

I’m not even kidding, it’s from an Egotastic gallery.

This photo is well-styled and kind of awesome. 

Here I am with some banter-ey comment on the lingerie chest and the fact that… OMIFUCKINGGODBURGERSTACK BURGER STACK! GIGANTIC BURGER STACK!

That makes it officially the hottest photo of all time.

[In my mind, ‘hot’ and ‘weird’ are really good friends.]

I’m fucking drooling.

This is some bad girl tricks the straight girl first time summer camp clover smelling sex lesson business.

Hmm. Yeah, this is weird.

I’m thinkiiiiing:

• Escaping from a sex cult, still high from mind control drugs (probably LSD & E)?
• Ultra-secret international assassins who are just coming off of a long lead heist embedded as a harem of their target, the energy baron?
• They’re the farmer’s daughters from that old dirty joke, and they’re just coming back from the “swimming hole”?
• Nudist family at the airport. Poor, nudist daughters?

Do not want.

This is one of those photos that’s 80% right, but 20% so, so, so very wrong.

It is the year 2109.

These two are cops. That is not a mask - he’s a genetically modified man-rodent.

Can you feel that sexual tension?