I hope that Sunday includes exactly your version of this kind of sexy happy joy joy time.

May the universe deliver a tiny rockabilly girl unto your lap, your hands bouncing her tight ass up and down your cock, her long shiny hair catching the sunlight through the curtains.

Time stopped for just a second.

In a laughing, PBR-drunk blur, you looked up at your girlfriend Amy, jumping on the cheap crappy couch with her perfect tits and cool bangs, naked in heels playing your guitar, your cat poised midway through a hilariously awkward leap.

This is it, you thought. That life you’d dreamed about but never defined. At this moment, you’re the coolest fucking person on Earth.

Hell yes.

Would I ever like to be starting my week this way.

The small, European apartment with the iron fire escape. The cute outfit, smelling freshly laundered. The tall, soft-haired boy with the beautiful back, his arms behind my tiny legs, pulling me into him. Relaxing into his breath and tongue. 

Sigh. Want.

(Source: unearthlyintruder)

Now

me and my Adidas do the illest things

we like to stomp out pimps with diamond rings
we slay all suckers who perpetrate
and lay down law from state to state
we travel on gravel, dirt road or street
I wear my Adidas when I rock the beat

- forever Run DMC. Jam Master Jay, love.

Turn around.

I want to press you against the wall, pull out a strap-on and fuck that look off your face.

(Source: libraryvixen)

These two are sexy, awesome and sweet like grasshopper pie or freshly laundered sheets.

If she had a joint instead of a cigarette, and he were six inches or so taller, this would be my vision of a perfect future.

Horny hipster girls eating pussy with bruises on their bony knees and skinny thighs get me crazy hot.

What can I say? I’m totally Sleaze Nation.

I’m leaving to meet a close friend for brunch.

That said, it’s Saturday morning and I’m horny as hell.

Am I horny enough to crawl under tables like a dog, reaching frantically into the crotches of strange men, my sudden, panting breath making their cocks jump?

Well, I guess all I can say to that is you never know.